I had been having a difficult time making a decision about an opportunity that came up. Difficult because it involved something that I value highly and really want to do, but feel very inadequate and insecure about.
Are you ever faced with decisions like that?
I felt the Holy Spirit was leading me to move forward, in church and through the daily prayers I was working on. But I also felt my fears holding me back.
Half awake and half asleep, a vision came to me that seemed to sum up my situation.
I am floating in a tube on a river. The water is choppy. I have come through dangerous Rapids and am feeling exhausted by the effort it took to stay afloat. I can hear the loud Rumblings of fast-moving water. Not one but two Mighty Rivers come together at a confluence up ahead of me. They feed into the river I’m on.
They could take me far very quickly but the ride would be dangerous and extremely rough with no guarantee that I would survive.
In this dream/vision I pondered what I should do:
1 – I could get out of the river and camp on the side choosing not to move forward at all. And die there on the riverbank my Journey complete.
2 – I could get out of the water and hike up to the confluence watching the turbulent Waters come together. Maybe there would be a way to go around – there wasn’t.
3 – Or I could put my faith in God, the God who made the rivers and who sent me on this path and move forward into the ride of my life.
I do not think of myself as a risk-taker. Not with money. Not with emotional decisions. And this involved both.
As God often does, I realized He had placed someone in my life who I could take to about this. Miraculously, in about an hour, we were speaking on the phone.
Eric listened to my situation. And to my vision of floating down a river in a tube. He loved the analogy since he’s a big white water rafting and adventure experience guy. And he acknowledged that my fears were real and legitimate. Then he turned my vision into a devotional for me, right then and there, and said “Now, I’m going to upgrade you!”
“You’re no longer sitting in an inner tube with a little penguin hat on, drifting at the whim of a river of life.”
“God is the River. You’re already in Him! And you will be all of your life. You can trust The River!”
“And you are now in a White-Water Power Raft! And you have a paddle. And you have a Guide!”
I said, “I get it, my guide is the Holy Spirit!” I was feeling more confident and excited about this River trip.
Eric said “Your job, Laura, is to: Stay in the boat, Paddle hard, and Listen to your Guide.”
He continued, “So there is no pulling the boat out of the River to sit on the side. That is not an option. Your Guide has a lot to show you downstream. And He doesn’t want you to miss any of it. He is there to make sure you make it down the River safely.”
“Plus you have a customer paddle, but your Guide has a much bigger paddle and can out-paddle you. With that He will make sure you are headed where you need to be headed. You need only do what?”
I answered, “Stay in the boat, Paddle hard, and Listen to my Guide!”
It feels good to have made a decision. And to feel more confident that the Holy Spirit will continue to “course correct” if I can’t handle it all.
I am still both excited and scared.
Odd how we can be afraid of failure and afraid of success at the same time.
Is there something you are feeling prompted to do? Ask God to give you a dream or vision or some way of knowing you’re supposed to go forward.
Ask Him who He has put in your life to encourage you.
Your job, should you choose to accept it is:
Stay in the boat!
Listen to your Guide!!
Go for it!